All Things Considered...

You know how on NPR, they have a segment that starts with "On this day in history..."  In my life, the news would be like this:

On this day, in the projects, while we watched the World Cup, Eli Clinton ran wild through the house, trying to get someone to pay attention to him by shouting, jumping, and kicking things.  In his mania, he managed to smash his mother in the face with a small plastic basketball.  Then, minutes later he kicked a big blue ball (after being instructed not to kick it in the house, though his distracted mother did not carry through with her threats so her warnings went unheeded), which launched violently toward a coffee table that held various cups.  Of course the ball struck my jumbo coffee cup, producing a geyser-like explosion all over the room.  The angry coffee spilled onto my computer sleeve (luckily it was thick enough to prevent a total disaster) and onto a bag containing a light colored knitting project I have been working on for months.  Unfortunately, I can't wash the baby blanket until it is finished and by then the stains will likely be set.  I'm sure lots of people prefer their babies to be wrapped up in blankets that have brown stains and smell like a rotten coffee shop.

As I was busy cleaning up the soaking carpet and damaged projects, we heard a lot of commotion coming from the kitchen.  Then Linda flew into the room much faster than we've ever seen her jelly butt move.  She was puffed up and terrified.  When I went into the kitchen, I saw the purpose of the terror.  Our sliding door was open and on the other side of the screen was a big dog jumping around and barking.  Lorenzo was holding his ground, hissing and threatening to attack the excited dog.  I called Mark and Lars (who was fortunate to be visiting during the crazy storm) into the kitchen to laugh at Lorenzo with me (yes, I know, I'm terrible, but he's such a tough little turd).  Mark got close to him to observe and suddenly Lorenzo lashed out and savagely bit him in the leg.  A few minutes later, poor Mark realized that his shin was dripping blood down his leg from 3 different teeth spots (luckily Lorenzo got his rabies shot yesterday or we'd have an Old Yeller situation on our hands).  Eli saw the blood and visibly trembled and started to get very concerned for his daddy.  This was only the second time he's really ever seen blood and he didn't like it one bit.  So we all ran around like crazy for a while longer, cleaning up blood and coffee and feeling once again like somebody was playing a joke on us and filming it all.

And of course later tonight, I opened the refrigerator and out flew a box of blueberries that hit the ground and exploded, sending berries all over the floor and under the refrigerator.  I was too lazy to pull out the fridge so I will likely be met with the smell of rotting fruit later this week.

But, on a positive note, Marina finally cut her first tooth today, at 9-1/2 months old.  Phew!  At least all this crabbiness has an explanation!  I thought she had suddenly become her mother!

I can't wait to go to bed tonight.  I bet I will lay in some cat poop or something...