Closet Chaos

Have you ever had a burning desire to sit on your couch for a moment while your child naps, but instead tiredly make the choice to go up and stand helplessly in front of your closet while trying to formulate a strategy to combat the heaps of clothing that threaten to topple over on you? 

If so, then perhaps you started the task, only to get distracted by a number of old formal dresses that hid in the back, just behind your husband's shirts.  Then, as a masochistic impulse, you might have decided to try them on, knowing they were prom dresses from high school or pre-baby bridesmaid frocks.  The results of this disastrous choice may have been extreme irritation at the zippers that refused to zip and a sinking feeling of depression when you beheld how much you look like a bulging bratwurst (like the one you ate for dinner yesterday) in the one dress you could get on. 

If you had taken part in this unfortunate activity, you may have found it difficult to put your regular clothes back on after, feeling that even the sweat pants you had been wearing would suffocate and squeeze you, so you must therefore reorganize the remainder of the closet standing in your bra and oversized underwear. 

Then, perhaps you might find the reorganization process taking on a life of its own while the clock ticked down rapidly toward your allotted work time.  While you foolishly started pulling out storage boxes from under your bed, you may have seen a number of stray shoes that you thought you would never see again living in the far back corner (of course your bed is against the wall in the corner, so the shoes are truly unreachable).  The only option for retrieval would have been an army crawl, which would have been particularly uncomfortable in your current state of dress, all the way to the back corner of your king size bed, while you choked on dust and cat hair (some cats seem to love to hide under beds during the day and while they are being chased by their owners for humping forbidden objects).  If you were foolish enough to attempt such a search-and-rescue, you would undoubtedly have rug-burn marks all over your stomach from your cheap, scratchy carpet (but on the upside, you may have discovered a brilliant hiding place should an intruder ever slowly enter your home). 

Upon standing up and dusting off, this might be the moment when you regret your decision for reorganization and find that you are completely out of time and have to toss everything back into the over-stuffed closet. 

I ask has this ever happened to you?  It might be possible that it has happened to me.  But then again, perhaps not, I would never be that foolish.