Adventures in Clintonland: A Day in the Life...

Ever wish you could spend the day with the Clintons? I am giving you that chance with a pictorial history of yesterday. Sorry about the odd black borders on a few of the pictures, there were taken on my phone and I had some technical difficulties.

It went something like this:

Hooray! Coffee time in the morning with Mommy's new giant coffee cup! Quick explanation of the importance of this cup: I like to drink my coffee out of the same cup every day. It must be considerable in size as I am a glutton for huge portions. I had the perfect one but it suffered an unfortunate accident recently when I forgot about it in the microwave. Mark didn't look inside when he was heating up his dinner and smashed right into the beloved cup, exploding it all over the kitchen.

This beauty is the large replacement (Thanks, Mark!). Notice it is a 20 ouncer - so big, Marina can sit inside, as seen here.

Marina sat politely waiting for her breakfast. Some delicious Kix cereal Mommy slaved away on. She is a pleasant-looking child with a new trick; she keeps sneaking into the kitchen and stealing food from the cabinet. Yesterday, Mark found her sitting in front of the TV eating happily from a bag of Taco flavored Doritos.

Eli took a little time after breakfast for some creative drawing time. He would identify his drawings for me. I asked him about this particular one, he told me it was "tapeworms". Oh yes, of course.

Marina's new baby doll. She is very serious about taking care of her. She was placing her in the booster chair for feeding time. If you look closely, you can see the baby's legs are curiously shiny - almost like the talk show hosts on TV. Why? Apparently the baby had a diaper rash that required large amounts of Vaseline to be placed all over her legs and in her removable diaper.

10:04 AM: Pause our day to receive some disappointing news. The offer we put on a superb house was outbid by another butthead. This was extremely unfortunate, as we were already mentally placing our cat-scratched furniture all over the house.

After the bad news we regrouped and were looking for our new perfect house online. For whatever reason, at that moment, it was like both of our kids caught fire. They were jumping and rolling all over us and screaming at each other. All four of us sat on the couch in a line and every once in awhile an arm or leg would dart out and hit someone else.

Somehow in all the jostling a most astonishing thing happened. Someone knocked into me, which launched my NEW kick-a smart phone off of my lap. It soared through the air and landed inside my giant [full] 20-ounce coffee mug. I sat stunned for a few seconds before I screamed a word for dung (possibly an expletive - sorry kids). I grabbed the coffee soaked phone and ran to triage (the kitchen) where I bandaged it quickly in paper towels and assessed the situation. There was coffee gushing out of its orifices. I quickly pulled off the cover and removed the battery (more coffee!), which already revealed the telling red water damaged indicator. I buried it in rice and started to wring my hands and pulling at my clothes (good thing they were elastic).

Lucky for me, I added insurance on the phone 10 days ago... It was DOA (dead on arrival, for you non-medical drama TV show watchers).

Notice the guilty-looking giant coffee cup.

Believe it or not, the day did actually go on (just like Celine Dion sang it would). We were forced to employ a non-family member babysitter for once since everyone is traveling these days. We spent the majority of the day cleaning up so we could invite a member of the outside world into our house.

As I opened my purse to pay her, I was made aware once again of the nonsense that often makes up my purse. After she left, I paused to take stock of what was inside.

Here we go for another segment of What's In Lily's Purse!

Not an exhaustive list.

A bottle of home-brewed beer that someone gave me just before I left work.

A box of Gas-X (I'm old).

A list of school supplies I've been carrying around for 2 months.

A Nook. (always!)

An empty pantyliner wrapper (what!?) - which it turns out I had in my zippered "secret compartment". At some point, it escaped into the middle section and shed it's wrapper (scandalous).

A computer cord (under the Nook).

Some mints that make both Mark and me nauseated but he keeps going back for more.

2 Empty gum boxes

and no fewer than 13 lip glosses