The Wedge Effect

I love teaching my kids things as they grow up.  Eli's learning how to read and Marina is learning the wonders of the toilet.  It's a very exciting time in our house.

Then there are times when I make some poor choices on my lesson subject matter (remember when we taught Eli to pinch booties when he was three?  That is still going on.)  

Yesterday stupidity struck again.  I mistakenly (on purpose) taught Eli how to administer a wedgie.  Since the incidence of wedgie retaliation is great, I also taught him how to deflect and receive a wedgie (if you powerfully clinch the cheeks of the buttocks, the underwear can only travel so far).

While yesterday, I didn't see too much of a problem bestowing my wisdom on my 5-1/2 year old, today has been a much different story.  This afternoon, I was standing at counter cutting onions when I felt a little hand reach under my belt.  As my one hand held a butcher knife and the other was holding a handful of onions, I was forced to resort to the clinch defense.  I felt like saying, "I've made a huge mistake," (Arrested Development style).  There have been several of these unfortunate incidents today.

I have since warned Eli about how giving people wedgies can get you beat up in life, though this doesn't seem to make much difference to him.   This time, I'm positive I'm going to get a call from school in the upcoming weeks...

I really should give my parenting technique a little tweaking in 2012.

Here's my little butt-pinching wedgie-maker.