Exhibit A
Here are some points that particularly stand out in my spectrum of regret. Pardon the repeating “I can’t believes,” there are only so many synonyms for this and I’m supposed to be making dinner right now. I've decided to number my list because I'm trying to convince you that I am supremely organized.
1. I can’t believe anyone ever allowed me to babysit for them when I was in junior high and younger. There would be no circumstance in which I would invite a child of that age to come to my house, rummage through my pantry and talk on my phone (realistically, this phone situation would hardly be an issue – maybe I should say use my protected Wi-Fi). As a childcare provider, I had no idea what the heck I was doing.
2. I can’t believe I didn’t decide to try in school. All that about the children being the future (R.I.P Whitney) and whatnot...
3. I’m shocked that my mom allowed me to go out of the house with my hair and accessories looking like I got attacked by Claire’s on my way to school. There were times when I wore a ring on every one of my fingers. I may have been trying for recruitment from a passing circus.
4. I can’t believe I ever thought this was appropriate behavior: Visualize a summer job where I worked in the mail room. In between mail carts, we would have “down” time. Someone (possibly me) thought it was a good idea to stage an arm wrestling match. Needless to say, the people who walked by our match did not appreciate our level of professionalism. I'm feeling embarrassed just "saying" this aloud.
5. I can’t believe I got bored of reading the “if two trains left the station…” questions on the ACT and just guessed on most of them. I'll give you a clue as to how I scored; the first time was shamefully low, the second time was 3 points lower. Good thing I had that $125 a year in college for being half Hispanic.
6. I can’t believe anyone hired me at Casual Corner to sell women’s suits when I was 17 years old, particularly when management had to talk to me about putting on some makeup every now and then so I would stop offending customers by looking like I just recovered from a two week bout of the flu.
7. I can’t believe I wore an ugly jean skirt to my rehearsal dinner (this hasn’t been troubling me for long – I just thought of it, it's totally lame).
8. It's amazing that I let Mark convince me that we needed to adopt not one but two different cats with various behavior disorders.
9. For the first year of our marriage, we alternated between two different meals: Asian Delight (I just googled this to make sure I wasn't saying something obscene. Yikes!) - pot stickers and a huge bowl of Ramen, and Fried Goodness - fish sticks and tator tots. Needless to say there were some weight issues that year: I gained... Mark lost. Wait, who am I kidding, we currently have all of these items in our freezer/pantry.
Now, as an older, wiser woman, I can instruct future generations on how to avoid these childhood/young adult pitfalls. I'm like Confucius ... or Phil Donahue.
2. I can’t believe I didn’t decide to try in school. All that about the children being the future (R.I.P Whitney) and whatnot...
3. I’m shocked that my mom allowed me to go out of the house with my hair and accessories looking like I got attacked by Claire’s on my way to school. There were times when I wore a ring on every one of my fingers. I may have been trying for recruitment from a passing circus.
4. I can’t believe I ever thought this was appropriate behavior: Visualize a summer job where I worked in the mail room. In between mail carts, we would have “down” time. Someone (possibly me) thought it was a good idea to stage an arm wrestling match. Needless to say, the people who walked by our match did not appreciate our level of professionalism. I'm feeling embarrassed just "saying" this aloud.
5. I can’t believe I got bored of reading the “if two trains left the station…” questions on the ACT and just guessed on most of them. I'll give you a clue as to how I scored; the first time was shamefully low, the second time was 3 points lower. Good thing I had that $125 a year in college for being half Hispanic.
6. I can’t believe anyone hired me at Casual Corner to sell women’s suits when I was 17 years old, particularly when management had to talk to me about putting on some makeup every now and then so I would stop offending customers by looking like I just recovered from a two week bout of the flu.
7. I can’t believe I wore an ugly jean skirt to my rehearsal dinner (this hasn’t been troubling me for long – I just thought of it, it's totally lame).
8. It's amazing that I let Mark convince me that we needed to adopt not one but two different cats with various behavior disorders.
9. For the first year of our marriage, we alternated between two different meals: Asian Delight (I just googled this to make sure I wasn't saying something obscene. Yikes!) - pot stickers and a huge bowl of Ramen, and Fried Goodness - fish sticks and tator tots. Needless to say there were some weight issues that year: I gained... Mark lost. Wait, who am I kidding, we currently have all of these items in our freezer/pantry.
Now, as an older, wiser woman, I can instruct future generations on how to avoid these childhood/young adult pitfalls. I'm like Confucius ... or Phil Donahue.
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