I sometimes have these moments where I wonder who gave a couple of kids a 30-year mortgage and let them play house. In my head we are still young and shouldn't be trusted with this level of responsibility. I also can't understand why I hate cooking and why I can't make my house look like HGTV. Sometimes I wonder how I've been entrusted to raise two children.
A while back, I was somewhere with my sister and made a comment about how people probably thought we were in college. She corrected my thinking by informing me that not one person thought we looked like we were in college. She was right, I looked at the real college kids and thought they looked like they were 14. Meanwhile, I haven't been carded in years...
So yes, my body is aging. I'm trying to stave off mental aging with sudoku games and watching The Voice.
As for my skills, are they getting better with time, like wine? Well now, I'll let you decide for yourself... Here are a few scenarios to help you:
Recently my sister's boyfriend taught us to cook the one meat that doesn't dry out, no matter how hard you try to ruin it. Chicken thighs. That's right, that means one less failure in the kitchen (unless it somehow eats up all the spice you put on it, which I've learned can happen from time to time). Points for Lily.
Last month, I may have gotten angry eyebrow(n)s from my husband for giving my children an in-depth lesson on the worms that can live in your body and crawl out of your butt at night. This took place during dinner. Every opportunity is a good opportunity to learn something new. Your students may or may not try to act out the worm exiting.
There has been a recent outbreak of teeth falling out of my children's heads. This has caused an issue since I don't typically carry very much cash. I never told them there was a tooth fairy since I don't really understand that story anyway. There is a woman who appears in your room at night and buys your teeth off of you? Either way, I forget all the time and that would give that wench a bad name. I just told them it was Mom who sneaks in. Let's put both the blame and the fame in the right place, shall we? In any case, Marina lost a tooth a few months ago and needed her payout. Upon searching all my pockets, I found the dollar she won from a Christmas bingo game and unwisely asked me to hold. You can guess what happened next in this situation.
On a positive note, I sat very still in church a few weeks ago and let her draw a portrait of me. Every time I moved, I got scolded for interrupting her work. Here is the finished product. I'm flattered.
Recently while we sat in a Mexican restaurant, I entertained my children with a cut-throat game of hang-man. I totally spanked them with this stumper.
After both my kids complained ruthlessly about the dinner I made tonight (chicken thighs, no less!), I may have retaliated by saying, "I don't really care that your brother tore your dog-shaped origami." I've since felt bad and will likely bribe them to like me again by giving them candy.
Also, by special request, after tucking Eli and Marina into bed every night, I sing my heart out on the karaoke machine. Amazingly, there hasn't been a marked increase in nightmares as a result. In fact, there has been a number of copycat performances, like this one.
Now that I read through these, I'd say the sudoku is working. In fact, my mind is so young, it's like my family is being raised by a junior high kid who will always laugh at fart sounds and still doesn't know how to do her hair.
Now we are off to dance, like this!
Ben recently bought the girls' future tooth revenue off of them for $5 cash, which he immediately redeemed from us for $12 and $16, respectively, for the joy of never having to remember the Tooth Fairy again. Sometimes older brothers come in handy.
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