Nunchuck skills

There are certain skills that can be very helpful to people as they make their way through life. Some of these skills include, but are not limited to, cooking, decorating, organizing, tact, outdoor instincts, music, carrying ice trays without spilling the water, and being nice.

I have none of these skills.

Instead, my skill set includes, and is limited to, picking things up with my toes, strong hands, killing flies with towels, loud voice, hearing cell phones ring above the din, smelling natural gas leaks, eating large quantities without getting sick, and making up lies.

These impractical skills are not ones you would put on a resume. When you are in college, and have no practical skills, it makes sense to choose an impractical major, like English. That way, when you graduate, you have no direction. I will forever be pursuing a way to use what I learned when reading Bleak House or Emma. So far, writing a blog is as close as I can come. Too bad no one will pay me for such an action (if they did, I would not earn much).

I will likely always be doing the things that come unnaturally to me. Every time I clean my house, I have to give myself a pep talk before I start. I wish I would exercise, but no pep talk in the world seems to be able to accomplish that.

In the meantime, I will work hard to sharpen the skills I have, sniffing out gas leaks, and speaking loudly. Also, I forgot to mention, I can make a great grilled cheese with sandwich meat and sliced tomato. Maybe I can dream of selling those while following Bette Midler to Las Vegas (are you with me Adriane?).

I would also like to add a small list of my pet-peeves/dislikes: the sound of a dishwasher running, butterflies, lady bugs, dirty ears, using the microwave, and spaghetti.