Pro Prose

This day, like every other one, has a list of pros and cons attached to it.  It reads something like this:

Pro:  I got out of bed today.
Con:  My hair looks like it stayed in bed all day.

Pro:  I ran errands today accompanied by two very well behaved children.
Con:  I did not consult my shopping list in a moment of memory-pride and forgot several things, including baby food and coffee.  Coffee is more important than toilet paper to us!  Also, I didn't realize until I got home that my dark colored underwear are visible through these pants.  Perhaps I should opt not to wear cellophane pants in public and in 90 degree oppressive heat.

Pro:  I made dinner.
Con:  It doesn't seem to have any flavor no matter how many shakes of garlic salt I give it.  Sorry [again], family.

Pro:  I spent two full hours standing in the kitchen cleaning and doing laundry.
Con:  I walked into the living room and realized there must have been an explosion in there.  Then I walked upstairs and could not locate the source of a skunk smell and also noticed our hallway might be shrinking as the floor seemed to have sprouted piles of clothes that await their final destination, but cannot be put away until after the kids wake up from their naps (unfortunately, the clothes never find their way home).

Pro:  My cats are both still alive today.
Con:  They both have bulimia and choose to vomit all over this house.  Fat Linda likes to find items to puke on top of (i.e. a shirt that is lying on the floor or a picture of Mark and Eli from Chuck E. Cheese)

Also, I would just like to take this sentence to admit to you that I have a comma abuse problem.  I ignore the grammar laws (at least the ones I know) and smear commas all over every sentence that I think should have a "natural pause".  I, Lily Clinton, apologize for my commaholism.