April Awesomeness

Eli:  Mom!  Marina drew a picture of you pooping while she was at school!
Me:  Hmmm.  Did you, Marina?
Marina:  YES!  I put it in my backpack!  [After a brief search, she proudly presents it to me.]

Marina: The brown is your poop and the orange is your body.

Me:  Hmmm.  That's nice.  Looks like I have a swollen knee too.

As parents, we are always looking for ways to inspire our children.  I'm glad to see I'm succeeding, even when I'm "at rest."  

Speaking of inspiring, I parked next to a car with this decal on it today.

Looks like everyone in this family has an activity.  Mom's activity is apparently drinking.  I like that they are embracing reality.  If this was my family, I would also buried under a pile of everyone's dirty underwear.

On the subject of my family members, I found this when reviewing Eli's papers last week.  Question: Would you like to learn more about plants?  Why?  Answer:  no because I pretty much know everything about them.  

Good thing I stumbled across this piece of information.  Now I can fire my gardener.  

And lastly, a story about crazy Lily.  Every morning I set my phone alarm for 5:00 a.m. optimistically hoping I will get out of bed and exercise.  Every morning I snooze my alarm for 63 minutes.  In itself, this is not all that odd, I'm sure plenty of people do this.  

Since I use my phone alarm, I have to tap a certain place to snooze it. If I mistakenly slide my finger instead of tap, I turn my alarm off (a fatal mistake). Here is the weird part of this story:  each time I lift my phone and squint my vision impaired eyes to identify the exact tap location, I have the same thought, "That's not how you spell snooze."  Sometimes my brain varies this thought slightly and thinks "Alarm" is misspelled.  One time I was positive it was in Spanish (it said Alarma) and I must have somehow converted my phone language.  Oddly enough it was in English again by 6:03.  

I'm pretty sure there is some kind of elaborate joke being played on poor, tired, half-blind people who abuse their snooze buttons in the morning.  

But honestly, don't you think "alarm" and "snooze" look weird in this screenshot?  I actually snapped this in a lucid moment to prove to my coworker that there really was something weird going on with my phone alarm.  

Let me know if you need a wake-up call in the morning.  Or would like my daughter to draw you a portrait.  Or would like any advice on plants from my son.