The Great Conspiracy

Recently I was made aware of a necessity that we had - a crib bumper for Eli's crib.  No problem I thought, I'll just run over to Target and grab one.  Walking through the baby supply aisle of the store, I was met with heavy disappointment.  They didn't even have anything close.  I cursed Target and headed to Toys R Us.  I thought the next store would be a home-run.  I bought my last crib bumper that the Babies R Us - "Mommy Mecca" in Utah.  The Illinois version was less appealing.  It was not the wonderland that I worked in for years in high school.  Again nothing.  

Overall, I visited 7 stores and looked online for this illusive piece of material.  They sold it everywhere in a 4-piece set for around $169, but not individually.  I was absolutely irate.  I had just about thrown eggs and my swears at every store in town.  It seems to me that Illinois, unlike Utah, is trying to dissuade it's residents from procreating by making crib bumpers only available on the black market.  

Finally, after weeks of searching, I found a crib bumper at Wal-Mart, on a second visit, hidden behind a $169 4-piece set.  I saw only a pink bumper with dolls on it but was desperate enough to grab it.  Lucky for Eli, there was doggy-print one behind it.  Phew!

All this to say, I can't be the only person in the Midwest in this same pursuit.  I think I am going to learn to sew and start making these pieces of crap and selling them out of the back of my car.  People will be just desperate enough to buy them.  Don't believe me, check out the demand and prices people are paying on ebay.  I am going to be a millionaire.