Clumsy Poop

I must say, it is a very good thing God is looking out for me and protecting me all of the time because with my clumsy butt, I couldn't have made it this far any other way (it seems as though this protection has been extended to my very clumsy child[ren]).

I will give you a recent example which is both ridiculous and terrifying. Yesterday morning, while Eli was eating breakfast and I was sitting at the table with him holding Marina, nasty Lorenzo laid a nasty turd in the litter box in the bathroom directly behind me. As he has lost his manners and gained some laziness, he decided not to bury it (again!). The stench was nauseating so I decided to scoop some litter over it myself. We have very comfortable 1970's chairs in our kitchen that have wheels on the bottom, padded seats and backs, and that recline. So we can usually lean back and relax in the kitchen while we eat and wheel around to the fridge without ever really having to get up. I used this advantage to lean back in my chair and reach my right arm out to the litter box to do some scooping while my left arm securely cradled my daughter. Then suddenly, it seemed I had leaned back too far, because the chair tipped backward (the downfall of our comfortable chairs) and we went with it. Unbelievably, my grip on Marina never faltered and she remained securely pressed to me while I found myself lying head-first in front of the litter box (sick!), wondering what the heck just happened. A startled Marina cried for 5 seconds and then went right back to sleep while I pulled myself off the ground and righted the chair. I stood there dumbly for a moment trying to decide if I had been injured in any way. No bones broken. I had to dust cat litter out of my skinned elbow but that's all (maybe a little whip lash - but I can't decide if that is imagined). Eli surveyed the situation and asked me what I was doing, as if I was throwing myself on the floor for fun.

Later, as I told my sister of my adventure, she pointed out how lucky I was that nothing serious happened. I was alone in the house. I could have hit my head on the wood floor, or broken my arm, or even worse, dropped the baby. I am very thankful that not one of those things happened and our clumsy butts are safe to stumble again another day.

Thanks God, I will try not to make such stupid decisions in the future (I know, I've said this before...).