- Manual by proven expert Lily Clinton
The following strategies seem to be extremely useful when raising two children. Since I am extraordinarily wise and resourceful, I am able to write a manual to share this knowledge after being a mother of multiple children for five long days.
- Be sure to nurse your newborn in front of your mouthy toddler so he can use phrases like "eating boobie" and add the insult "nipple face" to the list of names he calls people.
- Lock your cats out of your bedroom for the first time in their lives so they can stand at the door all night and scream and try to rip out the carpet with their claws.
- Come home from the hospital and immediately try on all of your old jeans and then sink into a profound body-related depression
- Allow your toddler to have over 20 stuffed animals on his bed so when you want him to nap, he will sit in the semi-darkness and play with all his "friends" and never sleep
- Consider taking a shower a luxury that will no longer be accessible to you
- Put your light-weight newborn in a swing that your toddler cannot seem to resist aggressively pushing in order to "help". That way, you feel comfortable every time you have to walk out of the room for any reason.
And most importantly, grossly over-estimate your abilities as a mother so you will be foolish enough to attempt to keep things under control every day instead of hiring a nanny with your grocery money.
I'm taking notes. Any time you want to pass on more advice, go for it.
ReplyDeleteOh Lily, you are a great mom, and I'm glad to see you still have your sense of humor! :)
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain, Lily! I am so close to experiencing all that and I don't know how it's gonna go. I am glad we can all laugh about though. :)
ReplyDeleteI love you Lily. You are so humorous all the time. I am glad to see with 2 kids you can see the funny part of all this. I wish I was there to hug you, even though you may cringe and help you. You are doing a great job and you are a great mom. I will keep you in my prayers and stop trying on those stupid jeans!! The will fit again, just not right now. Enjoy the sweats!
ReplyDeletei love it, lily. how random that you'd have your 2nd the same summer as me....we both have girls...and you name yours marina and i name mine merian. too crazy. as an experienced mother of two-- 3 months now-- i agree with all of your comments! don't worry-- things will get easier-- though not any more sane.
ReplyDeleteps. that was katie...not casey. :)
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