Woeful Week

My kids... it's funny to say that, it makes me feel old. This week has been an interesting one for my little buddies and me. Here is a little list of some odd things that happened:

1. Early in the week, it was raining and terrible outside so I dragged us to Hobby Lobby in search of more yarn (which was ultimately not there). I was lugging Marina in her car seat and Eli was running just in front of me (but not in the parking lot, you judgers). As we entered the store, Eli took one step on the tile floor and his feet shot out from under him. He violently landed on his head. It made a grotesque thud on the floor. Lucky for his little brain, he was wearing his winter hat, so it cushioned the blow slightly. Poor little guy started crying and needed me to fix his head for him. Oddly enough, an employee was dusting a counter a few feet away and never even looked up... hmm. She must not like kids.

2. Today, back at Hobby Lobby, in search of that elusive yarn, Eli walked in the same door and loudly (practically in a shout) informed me that his wiener itched (and we know that Hobby Lobby is such a conservative store). He had been walking funny for a few paces before the announcement. I told him that he better take care of it. He tried to scratch the outside of his jeans and when that didn't work, he took to slapping the front of his pants. I couldn't stop laughing at this shameless show. Perhaps it would have been a good time to inform him of socially acceptable actions, but I left that lesson for the next time. No one seemed to be offended by him, so we got a free pass on bad etiquette for the day.

3. Eli sometimes has a tendency to misinterpret things through his little "Eli lens". Sometimes he hears a word and thinks it is something else. For example, this week one of us used the word "buster", like "hey buster, what do you think you are doing?" He laughed and told us that his preschool teacher uses that word too. He wouldn't stop laughing about it. Then when he repeated it, I realized why. He believed we are all saying "Bus Turd".

4. On Monday, I was at my aunt's house while she was having a TV delivered and she was at work. While I was standing there observing the setup, I heard (and felt) a little business happening in Marina's pants. I thought I would wait to change her until after the delivery man left, but then my hand felt something on her back. She was wearing a really thick sleeper so I couldn't' be sure what exactly was going on. I went to the other room and peeled back the layers of her clothing to find an extreme poop explosion. The sheer force behind the BM had driven it all the way up to her shoulders! It was even under her armpits. This is the kind of diaper change that you just stick your kid in the bath right after. But, unfortunately, there was no possibility of this at the time. Also unfortunate was that I had no wipes with me. I had to use about 50 wet paper towels to clean her up. Then there was the impossible task of pulling her body suit over her head without smearing poop in her hair and on her face. I had to do all of this with lightning speed because the delivery man was finishing up his task and I didn't want to come out with a poop-smeared baby and soiled hands. Luckily I had just been to the store and picked up a new pack of clothes for her or she would have gone home wrapped up in a blanket. I am not always the most prepared mom. But I like to put myself in tough situations to test my ingenuity.

So, it has been a week filled with absurdities, poop and pain, but really, is that anything out of the ordinary in my life? I think not.