Fat Chance

I just want to share a bit about what I consider to be a humorous day. Today, after I pulled my sleep deprived butt out of bed and got my kids ready for the day, I decided that we should go to breakfast at Panera. This is one of Eli's favorite places to go. We sit across from each other and eat bagels and talk about life. We haven't been since Marina was born so today we introduced her to our special time (though she was asleep for all of it). Of course when we got to Panera at 10 am, there were masses of people there and every table was taken. I had to wander around with a car seat, food, coffee cup, and toddler until a nice gentleman give us his table. Then I noticed we were sitting right next to my third grade teacher, Mrs. Chapman. I considered telling her that I was the little girl she sent to the principal's office 22 years ago for calling another teacher's butt fat, but I thought better of it and let her eat in peace.

After our breakfast, we ran 5 errands (poor kids!) and finally ended up at the post office to pick up a package. After waiting 10 minutes at a window for no one to show up, we finally had to stand in line with the rest of the people for a chance to talk to the scary post office employees. At this point both kids were fidgety and I was a bit frazzled. As I observed the government employees, my eyes fell on a familiar face. One of them was the same man that has scolded me every Christmas when I show up unprepared with a box to mail (I believe I have a post about him from a few years back). I was hoping that the numbers would work out so I wouldn't have to be helped by him. But of course, no such luck. He gave me the signal to come to his line. I handed him the slip I had and about that time, Marina decided that she had enough of all of this and started to wail. Then Eli was jumping around, kicking things and loudly telling me he wanted the box now because he knew there was Christmas presents in it. I was looking crazy in my new nice jacket over a pair of sweats (like I told Mark I wouldn't do) and air-dried hair that was frizzing around my head like a halo. Of course I wasn't wearing make-up (I can't be bothered with that nonsense these days) and I literally have not had a full night's sleep in over 5 months, so you can imagine the bags under my eyes.

When he came back with the box, my jaw dropped. It was a little bigger than I expected and immediately started to assess my situation to plan how to get this box, car seat and Eli out of the post office and into my car. I signed a million things and then the man seemed to size me up. He said, "I tell you what, why don't I carry this out to your car for you." I started to tell him I thought I could handle it because I felt bad about my poor planning but he just said, "No you can't" and came out from behind his desk. As usual, I felt embarrassed for the inconvenience I was causing and tried to look away from the dirty looks of the people in the line who just wanted to get out of the post office quickly. So off we went to my far away parking spot. I had to explain to him that the box couldn't go in the trunk, but in the passenger seat because I had just been to Sam's and it was full of cat litter and giant boxes. He told me to just get my kids in the car and he would take care of the box. I hurriedly threw all the junk off the front seat (embarrassed again!). Then I overheard what Eli had been saying over and over since we left the building. It registered just then. "Boy this guy sure is big." and "He sure is huge (pronounced kuge), Mommy." and "How did he get so big?", "Why does he have that mustache?" The man was indeed huge, in fact, he was Santa Claus-looking. He also was not deaf so he undoubtedly heard what Eli was saying and also when I told him to be quiet. I thanked the man over and over for helping me. I probably looked like one of those poor people that is totally overwhelmed, like a woman who has ten screaming kids at the grocery store.


So, now I have changed my opinion of the post office staff, though he now probably hates me and my rude son and my crying baby. It is really nice when people are generous to you. It always surprises me. And it is especially nice when you can repay them by having your son call them fat.