Mean Mommy

I was just at Wal-Mart in less than ideal circumstances.  It is a very windy, freezing day and Eli, Marina and I are all sick with a nasty cold.  Eli has the worst of it, which is very sad for my sickly little boy.  Since he is coughing like an old man with pneumonia, I decided to keep him from going to school today so he doesn't spread his germs to all the other little ones in the class.  I did not, however, have any qualms about taking him to the store to share the sickness with the other deal-seeking shoppers (tip: always wash your hands after touching a shopping cart, particularly if my son was just next to it).

Since Eli was sick and still wanted to ride in the shopping cart (though he is right at the max of 35 pounds allowed in the tiny front seat), I was forced to get one of the carts with the extra two seats attached to the front.  This doubles the size and weight of the cart and limits the turning capacity.  In short, it is a huge pain the butt.  These are just the things you have to do when you have a long list of things to buy from the store and you have to bring two kids there with you.

So, the shopping trip dragged on as I went from aisle to aisle with my cart that was like driving a semi.  Of course since it was early morning, the employees were all stocking shelves and making my maneuvering ability even more cumbersome.  I might also mention that with this cold, I have lost the ability to hear anything so I feel like I am walking around in a bubble and probably talking way too loudly.  At the store, my mission was clear:  just get through the list, diffuse Eli's whining complaints and ignore Marina's wimpering from the back of the cart, where her car seat was being surrounded by more and more food items.  Lucky for me (though not so for the other shoppers), all these sounds were muffled.  I did, however, clearly see Eli trying to reach out of the side of our giant cart and grab things off the shelves.  My fuse is running a little shorter these days since I have literally not slept more than 3 or 4 hours a night in weeks.  Marina might have some sort of sleep allergy that prevents her from ever being able to nap or sleep at night.

We finally made it to the check-out line where it took me forever to unload the cart for the impatiently waiting cashier.  Then there was the matter of packing all the plastic bags back in the cart around Marina's car seat.  This is my least favorite part of shopping with an infant.  After, we slowly pulled out of line to make our way out of the store.  Just in front of us was a woman with her two children (who should have been in school, now that I think about it...).  For some reason, it occurred to her to say (very loudly) in my direction, "Look, there's a baby all covered up with groceries!"  I wasn't sure what her purpose was in saying this, but I did know that it annoyed the crap out of me.  Then her daughter started laughing and instead of walking on with her mom, stood in my way saying, "Ha ha!  That baby is covered in groceries!"  Apparently it is the hobby of this woman to find a distressed, very tired-looking mom in the grocery store and make fun of her.  To put an end to this, I yelled back, "Hey look, there's a woman with two really ugly kids!"  Well, actually that last part only happened in my head.  Instead I think I just stood there, looking at the woman like she was the crazy one until her dumb daughter moved out of my way.

Right about then, Marina started full-on crying and Eli started yelling that he was cold so we moved our slow butts right out to the car for a noisy car ride home, where I got mad at the woman again, but this time for all the things that are going wrong with the world.

But right now, as I type this, for one blessed moment both children are sleeping, so I can feel my sanity creeping back in and I realize (not for the first time) how dumb I am.  Wait, Marina just woke up so now I'm mad at that lady again.