Toilet Tellings

Now that we seem to have completely conquered potty training, I can say that my son has developed some rather unusual potty habits. In the past, I have mentioned Eli's insistence on wiping after he pees, though that is a rather unacceptable behavior for men to do (though I still think it is more sanitary this way). But now, every time Eli goes to the bathroom, he hollers for someone to come in the bathroom and observe what he has done. It goes something like, "Look how much pee-pee I made, Mommy!" or perhaps more offensive to some (though not to us) is his habit of showing you his poop and then describing what he thinks it looks like. "Look at the size of this poop, Mommy! It's kuge (this is how he pronounces 'huge' for some reason). It looks like a giant cucumber (or a pickle, or a submarine, or banana, take your pick)." Then he will ponder whether it will even fit down the toilet or will it clog (even though some times it is like pebbles in there).

It used to be that he took great delight in flushing after he was done, but now since our toilets are so bunk and we have no skills in fixing broken things, the toilet runs forever after it's flushed. Since he is not adept at the handle jiggle that stops the forever run, one of his parents will have to stop what we were doing and solve the toilet-running problem. Because this can be an inconvenience when you are feeding or holding a rarely sleeping baby, Mark has instructed him to not flush and that we will take care of it later (turns out this is a bad decision). While this was the instruction for only one day, it seems to have stuck like molasses because now every time I open a toilet, I find evidence of the workings of a little boy. If anyone ever visits us and uses our toilet, they will be unpleasantly surprised by the situation they will find waiting for them, not to mention having to flush the ever-running toilets. I also have a terrible fear that if he leaves the toilet seat up, that our cats will jump up and drink his pee. This is probably an irrational fear but it wouldn't surprise me with the nasty, rapscallion cats that we own.

I am left to wonder if Eli brings his bad bathroom habits to school with him. Does he call his teachers in to show them the mass amounts of pee he just made? Or does he realize this is not appropriate public behavior? How will I break him of this? Or will Eli be doing this for life? I wonder if this poor kid will be cursed for years because his mom allowed him to do and say things that are humorous now but may not be so in the future.

Maybe someone will call that Super Nanny lady on me and she can fix all these problems I'm making... it's always nice to be able to pass the buck (: Until then, I will laugh at farts and songs he makes up with words like "wiener and turd" in them.