Scrap the Cat

The definition of the junkiest cat in America:

One that leaves two piles of puke in the living room for you to find when you first come downstairs with your hands full of kids who are waiting for you to feed them breakfast.  After you clean the puke, you witness the cat going back and eating some more food.  Then your child goes into the living room and calls out, "The cats threw up chips all over the floor!"  (not really chips, more like cat food, in giant chunky piles)  While you are cleaning up puke episode number two, the same crap cat goes upstairs and humps your son's giant stuffed dog.

I told Eli I was going to open the door and let the cats run away.  He was not on board with this idea, in fact, he got quite upset with me.  Let's see if he feels the same way when I tell him that one of them was just making sweet love to his giant stuffed dog.