Baked Cries

Lily's Attempt at Cooking Disaster #4,523

A few days ago,  I noticed that the bag of potatoes I had recently purchased had some nasty growing on some of the weak little ones.  I cleared out the bag, saving the non-effected bunch, and discarding the mold-infected ones.  I had this pile of potatoes on the counter, eyes looking at me, asking what fate would befall them.  

Just in case it needs to said, I have literally no cooking skills.  So, I did what I often do - looked up potato recipes online.  After discounting the complicated, time-consuming ones, I landed on baked fries.  What could be so hard about that?

As I started the french fry slicing process, it occurred to me that I might have more potatoes than the recipe intended.  But, true to form, I kept going, even though I knew this was going to turn out badly.  I kept cutting and the pile kept growing.  The recipe suggested I put the potatoes in a Ziploc, then add a few spices and oil and shake it up.  The final pile filled an entire gallon Ziploc bag, making the shaking impossible.  Oh well.  Then, in order to cut down on clean-up, I covered the baking sheet with foil, also not smart.  As I poured out the gallon of potato slices, I saw that I would need a second baking sheet.  Then I just sat back and waited to taste perfection.  I thought maybe I should turn them over half way through, but it made the situation much worse.  The fries were burnt to the foil and my turning them over tore them in half, leaving their butts stuck in place.  It was a big mess.  So I put them back in the oven and pretended nothing was going wrong.  

The timer finally rang and I got the two over-filled baking sheets out of the oven then piled a giant plate of them for Mark (always my test audience).  This was his dinner (yes, feel sorry for him now), a big plate of raw/burnt/nasty fries.   As punishment for poor cooking skills, I made myself eat a big plate too.  Then, I folded up the foil and tossed the rest of the gallon in the garbage.  

I don't know which is the worse fate for the potatoes, mold or death by burning.

If you would like the recipe for the fries below, I'll email it to you.