USPS = US-PU!

I am filing an unofficial grievance with the United States Postal Service - again. Usually I have an issue only around Christmas time, but this week has been too much. The USPS has wronged me twice in the last month.

Over three weeks ago, I took a [beautiful] handmade baby blanket in a well-wrapped box to the local post office. Since the line was unthinkably long, I used the package kiosk that they are always going on about on the commercials. I sent the package Two-Day Guarantee (opting not to pay extra for tracking, or insurance - what was a knit baby blanket worth? only man-hours) and skipped happily out of the post office. Then I started the waiting game. Two days went by and I didn't hear from my friend. On the third day, I sent her a text telling her to check her mail that day. Nothing there. I checked with her every day for a week. Still nothing. On the week and a half mark, I called the local post office. They asked if I paid for tracking. No. Then there's nothing they can do for me. I called the Canton, OH post office next, where I was informed that this address did not exist. I assured him it did. He told me I was nuts. This is not the first time her post office has claimed her house/address did not exist. He told me my package would probably be coming back to me soon. So I wait, wait, wait.

Next grievance. My sister-in-law has over-nighted football tickets to us. She paid $16.50 for the package to get to us in a hurry, but it needs a signature for delivery. So I wait. Monday comes and goes and no package comes. Tuesday I am on the look-out all day for the package. I'm waiting with Eli, straining to hear a knock or the doorbell. Nothing. Hours later, I decide to drop an envelope in the mailbox. I open the front door and to my surprise there are two things sitting on my doorstep. A slip saying "we missed you, now you have to pick up your package at the post office tomorrow" and box containing a homemade baby blanket that looks like it was run over and dragged to my doorstep, three weeks late. The crappy mail-lady never even bothered to knock on my door. I yelled down the street at her, though clearly she had been gone for hours at this point. Maybe tomorrow I will leave her some rotten fruit in my neighbor's mailbox (I still want to get my mail don't I?)

So, United States Postal Service, you have once again brought me displeasure. You only ever bring me stupid bills and credit card ads and never any checks!