In my extensive experience as a wife and mother, I have found ways to sharpen several of my previously unused skills. One of these skills is my Creativity. Because of my awesomeness in this field, I think it is wise to share some of my secrets.
If you find yourself becoming slowly driven crazy by some of the more mundane tasks in your day, I suggest you change it up a little bit to keep things exciting. Research has proven that people who have to wash the dishes, empty the dishwasher, sweep the floor and fold clothes every day (and more than once a day) often age faster and have a tendency to overeat (especially cake) to the point of illness, thus resulting in old, fat, crazy moms.
So, if you take my advice and follow some of the easy instructions below, you can wipe away the fears of insanity and embrace a new, more creative lifestyle.
Nearly everyday, I have to sweep the kitchen floor about 5 times. By the end of the day, the accumulation of the piles is large enough to build a city. So, instead of throwing it away and adding to the destruction of the Earth, I've taken to placing it one of the 4,000 grocery bags I've shoved in the closet. Then I make a tag that says "I Love You, from Anonymous" and I gently place it in front of my neighbor's door. The benefits to this are three-fold. One: I have a clean floor. Two: I encourage my neighbor and make them feel loved. Three: I give them something to snack on since the majority of the contents of the bag are old Cheerios.
Another mundane and redundant task (just like this sentence) is putting away the dishes from the dishwasher. I actually violently hate this duty. The best way to make this more palatable is introducing something unpredictable into the mix. After I have loaded up the cups, plates and endless baby spoons, I then reach over into the nearby laundry basket and pull out a handful of underwear (we prefer to have our laundry room in our kitchen for the convenience of dirty clothes next to your eating area) and throw it in. I find this can "spice" up the dish duty because you never know what you are going to pull out with your clean dishes. Will it be polka dotted? Will it be wrapped around the water jets?
You may find vacuuming to be a tiresome task. I used to, until I started to sprinkle flower, salt and eggs onto the floor before running the vacuum. Not only do I get a somewhat cleaner living room, but I also can mix up a mean bread dough in the process. I think you really can experiment with this one. Maybe the next big cookbook in place of the easy crock pot meals will be fool-proof vacuum feasts. Caution, you might want to empty the canister after vacuuming near the bathrooms.
And lastly, if you are sick of making terrible meals that are so over-salted they burn your family members' mouths and give them a chronic case of IBS, I suggest you stop cooking all together and start watching Spanish soap operas at night. Your loved ones may be hungry but they will quickly forget all that when they see you have adopted a convincing flare for the dramatic and now only walk around in low-cut shirts and uncomfortably high-heels.
After reading the above advice, it is very possible that you may think I have already entered into the land of the nuts. This is very likely but also, I can't wait to hop out of bed in the morning and see what I will find in the dishwasher, what I can gift my neighbors with, and what my family may or may not be eating today.
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