Picture Perfect

We typically don't take family Easter pictures.  In fact, we really don't take any family pictures together, save the one we put on our Christmas cards and usually that includes short, tight pants and unflattering shirts - and that's only Mark we're talking about. 

Last week, I realized we needed to send our family picture to introduce ourselves to a Compassion child we sponsor.  Easter seemed to be the best time to stage such a picture because naturally we would be well dressed and on our best behavior. 

I didn't take into account that Eli would sit in the bathroom for 40 minutes prior to the picture, complaining about a hurting tummy (at the time,we made light of this - until he puked later that night.  Oops) which pushed the session well into Marina's nap time...

Here was the result.  I will give you a step-by-step walk through this awesomeness.  Keep in mind that I am displaying a number of unflattering pictures of me, because they are funny enough for me to forget my embarrassment.  I realize this is overkill, but I want you to experience the full effect of the day.

#1 - Mommy has her eyes closed.  Eli's not properly seated and Marina is trying to get away.

#2 It's too bright for Eli's eyes.  Marina is still fighting and Daddy is studying the ground. 

#3 Eli's eyes still a problem.  Daddy is trying to make Marina smile with fart noises and Mommy's smiling while muscling her into submission.

#4  Marina is trying to dislodge my strong hands.  Eli looks crazy.  Daddy's eyes are closed (I think).

#5 This is just all wrong.  Eli seems to be enjoying himself.

#6 Eli still enjoying himself.  Mommy is yelling at everyone while staring off into space.

#7  Mommy and Daddy got the memo.  Kids staring at the ground.  Eli looks like a cartoon.

#8 Marina is attacking Eli.  Eli is pausing to take a quick nap.  Mommy and Daddy are looking on adoringly.

#9 Trying switching kids.  Not working.

#10 Now Eli's trying to get away from Mommy's iron grip while Daddy is showing Marina a run in her panty-hose.

#11 Ha ha.  Eli's scratching his face, though it looks like a nose pick.  Marina must be passionately singing an Annie show tune while Mommy and Daddy look disgusted.

#12  Once again, the sun gets the better of Eli.  Marina is trying to escape Daddy.  Both parents have given up hope.

#13 Mommy trying to convince Eli that the sun is not really even that bright.  Marina pouts.  Daddy studies his shoes.

#14 Daddy has lost his mind. Mommy doesn't care about smiling.  Eli is elevating his eye sensitivity dramatics while Marina cries about all the poverty in the world.

#15 The photographer (grandma) has decided to just cut Eli out of this picture.  Marina is desperately trying to kick Mommy in her fat roll.

#16  Let's try standing.  Mommy will close her eyes and stand sideways because she thinks she looks thinner that way.  Marina will try to break Daddy's fingers.

#17 Daddy tries to distract the children by throwing something at the photographer.  Notice the green blur mixed in the trees.

#18 Eli making it obvious that Mommy is pinching him while she smiles on.  Marina is miserable.

#19  After structured pictures.  A fight about to break out.

#20 Marina trying to kick Eli while Grandma struggles to hold her back.

#21  Marina's feet make contact with Eli's head.

#22  Eli jumping off a wall.  Mommy showing impressive photography skills.  Sorry about the top of your head, son.

#23 Eli has picked a flower for Mommy, though he looks less than pleased to give it to her.

And not a good one in the bunch.  Not unless we want our Compassion kid to think he is sponsored by a family of lunatics.